The Beautiful Bombay

The overwhelming responses to my last post has made me realize there is much clearing up to do in terms of breeds and breeding. As mentioned before, in my kingdom there is no racism or sexism. All cats are great whether they be strays or distinguished pure-breeds like myself. But it's not our fault if some breeds are clearly far prettier and smarter than others. And by other breeds I mean one particular. And by one particular I mean me, The Bombay Cat.

Is this too much for your un-evolved mind to handle? Let me put it this way Bombay cats > all other cats. But if a= all cats are great and b= I am the best then the equation is b= Bombay cats > all other cats multiplied by a, Bombay cats are better than all other cats but all cats are great and I am the best. See? Simple.

The Bombay Cat must always be capitalized because we are that important. A few characteristics of The Bombay Cat are:
* Products of breeding between an American Shorthair and a Burmese
* Muscular, yet agile, cat with a black coat
* Usually brown or green eyes, shaped like a Burmese cat's (not round) and set wide
* Ears are broad, slightly rounded and medium sized and, like the eyes, set wide
* Coat is short, satiny, high-gloss and tight to the body, thus giving it another name—the Patent Leather Cat.
* Are heat-seekers, meaning we love to be warm and will tend to sleep with "owners," (hahaha I laugh) either under the covers or on top of their legs because of the heat
* Need little grooming and our personalities, according to the human pets, are fun, loving, very affectionate, curious, and active.

Why am I the best you ask? Oh it gets so tiring re-explaining this but while I display all these characteristics, I have my own individual distinctions. My fur is longer than a short hairs ought to be which illustrates my lushness. My eyes are a yellow-green that reflect my superior intelligence. I am not active nor am I muscular which prove that I am too good to do my own work and rather leave it to others as I have more important matters to tend to. My tail is thick and expressive much like my brain. I am delightful to my human pet but unlike other Bombay Cats, I am aware that every action leads to something and I do not just stupidly throw myself at my human pet, even if she thinks I do. My charade is my legacy.

Some may object to this. Some may say the differences are too great, that I am not of The Bombay Cat line. But answer me this? How is it that I have the exact symptoms? The powers of gingivitis and sinus back me up!

This is why I am a class above The Bombay Cat. And this year shall be my year, in February 2010, The Bombay won "Best Breed of Cat," for the first time in 50 years, since our breed was first, um, bred. My time approaches.