Revenge is a dish best served... just served. Food good.

My human pet took me to get groomed yesterday. My fur is silky smooth and smells like shampoo, my teeth have been brushed, and my claws clipped.

I will sit on her head.

How dare she? How dare she take such freedoms with my beauteous coat, my awe-inspiring fangs, my dread claws? Sure I look and smell good and it feels nice not to have loose fur to lick up... and okay, I'm softer than the softest cloud in soft cloud city. And I feel so relaxed and clean! Not to mention, that clump of dry food that's been stuck in my teeth is finally gone... but still!

She will be brought down. And by brought down, I mean revenge! No matter that her petting feels so good and that I purr when she hits that spot right behind my ears. No matter that she gives me my other human pet Zeynep's shirt to cuddle with at night. No matter that I sleep all pressed up against her and pepper her face and hands with my sweet kisses. I plot my next move.

Never mind, this feels too nice. As long as I have her under my power and scratching my special spots, she is safe. But here's today's tip: Never let your human pet be in charge. Let them think they are but always keep the upper hand. Oh yes, that's the spot, right there.