Haha what a loser. Nothing compared to the svelte goddess that is magnificent me.
I'd like to take this moment to explain my "blog" as the humans call it. My human pet Leyla has one and it seems to give her great joy to post silly pictures and writings from her boring life. I realized that if people are willing to put up with her drivel, they will be bowled over by the wonder, the splendor, the simple bliss that is the adventures of my life. I will be reporting to you my thoughts on food (my favorite of all mortal inventions), my inspirations (especially Lucifer. The cat from Cinderella not the fallen angel, you simpleton), and tips on how to become the ruler of the universe, a role I have humbly taken upon myself. Though I should add a certain disclaimer. These tips are a way for me to pass on my wisdom to you lesser beings. If you try to use the against me, if you so much as dare to even think of the word, "coup," I will destroy you faster than a bag of kitty treats.
Well! Shall we get started then? Here's the first one tip; always pretend like your human pet is the most important thing in your life. This makes them so happy that they delight in serving your every whim. Bonus: Never forget just how easily these human pets can be manipulated.
Little does she know, I barfed in her bed.
all hail, Egg.
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